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nataliya

nataliya

“Books are a uniquely portable magic.” 
― Stephen King, On Writing.

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"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."— J.K. Rowling

Movies In Fifteen Minutes: The Ten Biggest Movies Ever For People Who Can't Be Bothered

Movies In Fifteen Minutes: The Ten Biggest Movies Ever For People Who Can't Be Bothered - Cleolinda Jones Just because you love a movie does not mean you are not allowed to make fun of it. Some movies are just asking for it. Right? Well, Cleolinda Jones seems to think so. This book was worth killing a few trees to get it printed. ...LOVE... This is how I feel about this book. It was insta-love, love from the first page. It was meant to be. It made me smile and it made me cry (granted, it was from laughter). It understands my (occasionally baffling) sense of humor.The screenplay-format movie parodies that eventually became Movies in Fifteen Minutes (M15M) first appeared on Cleolinda's LiveJournal (also of brilliant Twilight parodies fame). This book is the result of her well-deserved internet fame. Cleolinda Jones is effortlessly funny and extremely quotable (just ask anyone who has been around me when I was reading this book!). She writes her parodies with wit, affectionate snark, a healthy dose of irreverence, and with countless recurrent jokes that never fall flat. This book is a clear example of how you can love a movie and still laugh at it. And if you like these, you can head over to Cleo's Movies in Fifteen Minutes LJ and find quite a few more there (not the same ones that are in this book though).Among the movies that get "Cleo treatment" in this book are JURASSIC PARK ("When a T-rex saves your ass, don't ask questions"), TITANIC (based on a true story, where nothing is actually real "but the china is exactly replicated"), HARRY POTTER AND THE Philosopher's Sorcerer's PHILOSOPHER'S STONE, and ATTACK OF THE CLONES (featuring "The Traditional Crawl from the Department of Back Story").Here are some examples of her writing, so you can decide whether this book is your cup of tea:TITANIC:Faux Newsreel FootageDid you know this movie is based on a true story? It totally, totally is! Well, except for Jack and Rose. And Rose's mother. And Rose's evil fiancé. And all of the lower-class people they meet. And the fictionalized versions of real people they interact with. But the china is exactly replicated.--------------------HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER'S STONE:HARRY: Why did my hands burn Quirrell?DUMBLEDORE: Your mother's love lives in your skin, Harry.HARRY: But... then why did he have no problem strangling my bare neck?DUMBLEDORE: I think it's time for you to rest, Harry.HARRY: Did my mother love my neck less, or something?--------------------AN UNFORTUNATE STAR WARS PREQUEL, WHATEVER IT WAS CALLED:PADMÉ: There, there. Everyone commits a little mass murder now and then. It's what makes us human.----------------------This book is a great read for when you need a bit of laugh - if you, like me, enjoy internet-style parodies. 5 stars without much hesitation.